Regrets. Something people wish they didn’t have, but carry around like luggage. Always wondering what the alternative outcome may have been and asking the same thing repeatedly, “What if I . . . .” The cycle can continue for hours, days, weeks, months, or even years. Is it possible for someone not to have regrets? Yes, absolutely. I can attest to the slim percentage of people that fall into that category. Regrets aren’t productive and will hold you back from being the greatest version of yourself.
What Are Regrets?
Regrets are comparisons of ourselves and the alternative choices we could have made, but failed to choose. They vary as we’re all individuals with different ideas of what we value. Some people may regret not taking a chance on a potential new relationship, risking an opportunity to start a new job, not traveling the world, or eating an entire chocolate cake in one sitting while watching a rerun of Friends. I know from experience that it’s easy to think about what could have been done differently after a decision was made and create a fantasy of what might have happened. Fortunately, I’ve learned to let go of that mindset and focus on happily living with my decisions.
It’s Time For a Change
Not focusing on regrets from the past is easier said than done. I used to continually think about decisions I made and felt extremely disappointed. Eventually, I realized it wasn’t proving to help me become a better person; it was merely causing me to hold on to fear and I had to let it go. I can remember telling myself that I needed to stop thinking about everything I had regretted in my life because it was distracting me from the present moment. Once I was able to refocus my thoughts and think about what I wanted to accomplish as opposed to where I had been, my life became much more enjoyable.
How I Stopped the Vicious Cycle
It’s a hard pill to swallow, but you must stop focusing on regrets from the past as it can become an unhealthy obsession. The past is the past and nothing can change it; no matter how much you want to change what happened. I decided to stop reliving the past and what I could have done differently. When I refocused my mindset, I realized that if certain things never happened in the past I wouldn’t be the person I am today. Regardless of how disappointing, painful, or upsetting, I learned to grow from all of my experiences. I realized that regrets are along the same wavelength as worrying; they do absolutely nothing except make the person miserable and create more problems. Learn to let go from things in the past, embrace the present, and focus on the future. You're absolutely worth it.